Archive for the ‘Fucktardery’ Category

WoWtard

Monday, May 24th, 2010

Lol, WoWtard…

Got addicted?  Gotta go cold turkey?  Freak out.

Any Questions..

Monday, May 24th, 2010

Nasty little details, the things you don’t see on TV.

Darwin, Darwin, Darwin…

Thursday, January 7th, 2010

As if kids today were’nt stupid enough, they gotta go do this:

The Choking Game

I guess the war on drugs is going pretty good, if kids can’t score, so they’ll just go the whole starve my noodle till I pass out route.

Seriously, I’m not all that suprised.  It all started when they took these off the market because ithey were too dangerous for folks:

Darwin was right.  Given free reign on their actions, the stupidest of the herd will find ways to get killed/eaten/or simply removed from the gene pool.

Once upon a time, I had a piranah (you know, those little fish with the teeth).  I had it in a 70 gallon tank.  Now these fish don’t really like pellet food, more like live sushi is what they prefer.  So, I would get 100 ct bags of goldfish.  The rule was, it had to finish all of them before I’d get another load.  Here’s where I really saw Darwin in action.

When I’d first put in a new batch, the tards of the herd would poke around and try to go make friends with the huge thing with the teeth.  They were the first to go.  Then it would boil down to a bunch (probably 80% or so) that would school in a big ball, trying to act bigger than the thing with the teeth.  It worked right up to the point when my piranah would get hungry and decide to get some take-out.  So the ball-o-goldfish would slowly get smaller each day.  Then the ball would disappear.  Here’s where I could tell the Einsteins of the batch.  They’d be hiding up on the driftwood stump, or in the leafy plants, not moving, not being noticible.  They’d munch on alge and try not to get eaten by that thing with teeth.  But eventually, my piranah’s hunger would drive him to look for the easter eggs and then those too would disappear.

Rinse, repeat.

That may sound cruel, but that’s nature.  That’s how things work in the real, cold, world.  Ever see a stupid country dog?  Not old ones, if you have.

Pop Quiz

Tuesday, January 5th, 2010

Ok all you mathtards, here’s a word problem:

Read it HERE

Back?  How long did this chase go on (in time)?

I wonder if they had to use stop-sticks to end the madness.  Also, why do I see that scene from Austin Powers in my mind (the one where he’s on the compacting roller).

Pick of the day.

Wednesday, December 9th, 2009

Alcohol does increase the ass to floor adhesion coefecient.

Why N Korea needs Google

Thursday, June 18th, 2009

I wasn’t going to piss around with the whole Kim Jong Il BS, but North Korea really needs some google action before they start up with the propaganda verbal spewage. I mean, you have to throw out some believable rhetoric if you want folks to take you seriously and not nuke you from orbit (just to be sure).

What caught my eye last week was the whole “blah, blah, we nukayu, blah” then “retaliate 100 fold or 1000 fold”. That last part kind of crossed some wires in my noggin. Anyway, I did a google search on “100 fold meaning” and found this page in nothing flat:
http://ezinearticles.com/?Is-There-a-Difference-in-100-Times-and-100-Fold?&id=1684629

I know things get lost in translation, but the difference between 100 fold and 1000 fold is not a factor of 10. from reading that link, I don’t think they have developped a number with enough zeros to calculate what 1000 fold is, let alone North Disneyland having enough warm bodies or hot nukes to come on that kind of retard strong.

And now they’re talking about lobbing an ICBM toward Hawaii here in a month or so. I’m not about sucker punching anyone, but in this situation, well… I think we should lift off and nuke the site from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.

Evil Fucking Empire

Thursday, June 4th, 2009

I’m going up to the AT&T wireless store tomorrow and get their definition of “Free Trial”, cause it sure isn’t what Webster defines it as.

So I moved to the country, like way the hell out here, and the jesus phone just wouldn’t get signal. So, a month or two ago I went and upgraded to the Motorola Tundra. Ruggedized, weather proof/resistant, external antenna, gps flip phone. Sweet. The only catch is that the gps feature is a $9.99/month “feature”, but it had a (wait for it)…”free trial” period. Thinking that this may come in handy, I activated it. It was ok, but not nearly as useful or user friendly as either my Garmin Nuvi 765 (for driving) or my Magellan Titan (for off-road), so I dutifully logged into my account and removed this “feature” prior to the end of the “free trial” period.

This evening I got the latest bill, and guess what, there was a $9.99 “other charges” line item which clearly said AT&T Navigator (the gps “feature”). You gotta be shitting me, I thought. So I fired up the AT&T cell card to go check my account online. Talk about a truly craptastic connection, after about an hour of waiting for the pages to load I finally got to the page that listed all my “features”, and the AT&T Navigator was (wait for it)….DESELECTED!

So, 1) I removed this feature prior to the end of the trial expiration, and 2) my online account page showed that it was not currently activated. Why then am I being charged $9.99? Will it happen again next month? The answer to these questions is: none and most definately.

I really didn’t want to go off on another telecom, but this is fucking rediculous. Verizon is worse. (RULE 1 ALERT). Those fuckers are still charging us for two accounts that I have been requesting to be terminated for months. And they have already removed the CPE from our locations, so there’s no way in hell we could even use their over priced slow assed service if we wanted to. I will more than likely be contacting the FCC in regards to that.

Once I get this gps bullshit squared away with AT&T I’ll also be removing the $19.95 unlimited data “feature”, and the $5 200 text messaging as well.

I did however fuck them out of a ringtone. Back before I got the iPhone, I had (and still have) a motorola Razr v3 for which I purchased “The Good, The Bad and The Ugly” as my ringtone. When I went to redownload it to the Tundra, AT&T wanted me to rebuy it. Know what? The Tundra records voice notes which can be used as ringtones. Fuck you AT&T. I bought it once, and that’s it. I can only use one phone at a time, and it didn’t say that the original download was for that specific phone.

And as for the improved reception of the Tundra, it’s only slightly better than the original iPhone. I pretty much have to go out on my porch to get a stable connection. And 3g, forget about it. AT&T is sitting on their thumbs getting more (and faster) bars even in the city, let alone out here in the boonies. That applies to the phones as well as the cell card I’m using to write this post.

In closing:

AT&T, you can

SUCK

MY

BIG

HAIRY

BALLS.

It’s like sliced fucking bread,

Thursday, June 4th, 2009

with a porn star accessory.  Twitter

http://news.yahoo.com/s/time/08599190260400

Is anyone even slightly concerned about their privacy?  Personally, I’m about a gnats ass from taking this blog offline.  As I get older, I’m finding that I don’t want every Tom and hairy dickhead with an internet connection having access to what I’m doing, feeling and thinking, or as the mantra goes, eating for breakfast.

Call me old school, but you just can’t say shit in 140 characters that has any meaning.  Fatrz in the wind.

PERFECT

Friday, March 6th, 2009


Sony Releases New Stupid Piece Of Shit That Doesn’t Fucking Work

7-11

Wednesday, January 21st, 2009

I will no longer patronize this establishment.

(more…)