Open Letter to Mexico

Dear President Calderon (& Mexican Senate),

I’m planning to move my family and extended family (in 18-20 months) into Mexico for my health, and I would like to ask you to assist me. We plan to skip all the legal stuff like visas, passports, immigration quotas and laws. Please know that I will be expecting the following:

1. Free medical care for my entire family
2. English-speaking government bureaucrats for all services I might need, whether I use them or not
3. All Mexican government forms need to also be printed in English, and banking ins—-utions.
4. I want my children to be taught Spanish by English-speaking (bilingual) teachers.
5. Schools need to include American culture and history, and celebrate American holidays.
6. I want my kids to see the American flag on one of the flag poles at their school.
7. Please plan to feed my kids at school for both breakfast and lunch.
8. I will need a local Mexican driver’s license so I can get easy access to government services.
9. I do plan to get a car and drive in Mexico, but I don’t plan to purchase car insurance, and I probably won’t make any special effort to learn local traffic laws.
10. In case one of the Mexican police officers do not get the memo from their president to leave me alone, please be sure that every patrol car has at least one English-speaking officer.
11. I plan to fly the U.S. flag from my house top, put U.S. flag decals on my car, and have a gigantic celebration on July 4. I do not want any complaints or negative comments from the locals.
12. I would also like to have a nice job without paying any taxes, or have any labor or tax laws enforced on any business I may start.
13. Please tell all the Mexican people to be extremely nice and never say a critical things about me or my family, or about the strain we might place on their economy.
14. And when I retire, I want social security benefits to which I never contributed a dime.

Thank you, I am sure this can be accomplished easily as America has been doing this for many years!
U.S. citizen and taxpayer

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